ROBLOX Theory: Robloxians Are OVEREATING

Introduction

Note: We will only use food/beverage gear found on this picnic basket.

Greetings, Robloxians. Do you know that every time you take a bite of a cheeseburger, hot dog, watermelon, cake, taco, or take a sip of Bloxy Cola or Starblox Latte, you are consuming... tens of thousands of calories?

That's right, tens of thousands of calories. Today, we will show you that Robloxians are unrealizingly eating and drinking themselves out of house and home. Yes, and they regain health for it. Does this sound like binge eating disorder or Bulimia Nervosa to anyone? That's because it is; Robloxians get harmed all the time, and what do they do to regain health? Eat food. They also jump a lot. I diagnose them with those two diseases that have been reported as chronic in Robloxia since the inception of Bloxy Cola.

Note before we start: Calories in this context refer to one kilocalorie, which is equivalent to 4,184 Joules. We are also using ROBLOX's new stud unit, which is 28 centimeters.

How much energy is burned by a Robloxian jump

Now, before we get to food and beverages, we need to find how much Calories a Robloxian burns by jumping. We will assume 100% efficiency, which implies ideal efficiency, which is theoretically impossible in the real world. When a Robloxian jumps, it converts its kinetic energy into potential energy and potential energy back to kinetic energy. Without loss of generality, the potential energy formula looks like this: ${\displaystyle U=mgh}$. According to Roblox's Game Settings, the default height a Robloxian can jump is 7.159 studs or 2.004 meters. Gravity in Roblox is 54.936 m/s² , which is 5.6 times greater than that of Earth's. Now comes the challenging part: Finding out how heavy a Robloxian is. Luckily, we ROBLOX gives us a mass unit. Unluckily, your Robloxian comes with hair and other accessories. Like Thoreau, we have to simplify matters by assuming our Robloxian is bald(yes, people with hair can also do BMI, but in ROBLOX, something as innocent as a chestnut bun can weigh the same weight as your head) and undecorated with accessories. We will not remove the shirts and pants of a Robloxian because they are essentially massless decals (in real world, they have mass). If we let one mass unit equal 21.952 kilograms (the derivation of this is left to the reader), the Robloxian in total has a mass of 276.5952 kilograms or 609.788 pounds. Plugging in all the information, we get 30,451 Joules or 7.274 Calories. (also, by mere calculation alone, this implies the Robloxian leaves the ground when they jump at 14.859 m/s or 33.193 mph, which is 3.312 times their walking speed alone. They also land back down in 540.21 milliseconds. This means the power of jumping is 56.37 kilowatts. )

Food

Now we get to the star of the blog post: food. We will make the assumption the food offered at ROBLOX is generic and is proportionally scaled in calories per gram. We will also make the assumption that Robloxians can eat the entire food in one bite. [One Bite Challenge Accepted]

A cheeseburger in Earth weighs 201 grams and 548 Calories. Meanwhile on Robloxia, a cheeseburger weighs 12,293 grams or 27.1 pounds and bolsters 33,521 calories. It would take 4,608 jumps just to burn it all and 41 minutes and 29 seconds. What's more surprising is it regenerates health (1.6 health points to be exact and it takes a Robloxian 0.8 seconds to eat in its entirely. ) In just 50 seconds, the Robloxian will be able to regenerate to full health (assuming no regeneration scripts) at the cost of eating 2,095,000 calories, which will take 287,990 jumps to burn and 1 day, 19 hours, and 13 minutes. Just by the power of cheeseburger output alone, a Robloxian will consuming at the rate of 175.3 megawatts.

A hot dog in Earth weighs 106 grams and 269 Calories. Meanwhile on Robloxia, a hot dog weighs 41 pounds and bolsters 46,745 calories. It would take 6,426 jumps just to burn it all and 57 minutes and 51 seconds.

In Robloxia, a watermelon weighs 27 pounds and surprisingly bolsters 3,688 calories. It would take 507 jumps just to burn it all and 4 minutes and 33.9 seconds. (Meaning that if a Robloxian jumps for exactly the length of 4'33" , they will be able to burn one watermelon. ) What's more surprising is it regenerates health (1.6 health points to be exact and it takes a Robloxian 0.8 seconds to eat in its entirely. ) In just 50 seconds, the Robloxian will be able to regenerate to full health (assuming no regeneration scripts) at the cost of eating 230,500 calories, which will take 31,686 jumps to burn and 4 hours, 45 minutes, and 17 seconds. Just by the power of watermelon output alone, a Robloxian will consuming at the rate of 19.29 megawatts. (This is arguably the healthiest Robloxian food )

In Robloxia, a cake weighs 54 pounds and bolsters 85,099 calories. It would take 11,698 jumps just to burn it all and 1 hour, 45 minutes, and 20 seconds. What's more surprising is it regenerates health (1.6 health points to be exact and it takes a Robloxian 0.8 seconds to eat in its entirely. ) In just 50 seconds, the Robloxian will be able to regenerate to full health (assuming no regeneration scripts) at the cost of eating 5,318,687.5 calories, which will take 731,100 jumps to burn and 109.7 hours. Just by the power of cake output alone, a Robloxian will consuming at the rate of 445 megawatts. (This one takes the CAKE as the worst Robloxian food)

In Robloxia, a taco weighs 27 pounds and bolsters 26,676 calories. It would take 3,667 jumps just to burn it all and 33 minutes. What's more surprising is it regenerates health (1.6 health points to be exact and it takes a Robloxian 0.8 seconds to eat in its entirely. ) In just 50 seconds, the Robloxian will be able to regenerate to full health (assuming no regeneration scripts) at the cost of eating 1,667,250 calories, which will take 229,190 jumps to burn and 34.39 hours. Just by the power of taco output alone, a Robloxian will consuming at the rate of 140 megawatts.

As you can see, if you want to regenerate health the healthy way, eat watermelon. Do not eat cake.

Drinks

Now we get to the second star of the blog post: drink. We will make the assumption the food offered at ROBLOX is based off real world counterparts and is proportionally scaled in calories per gram. We will also make the assumption that Robloxians can drink the entire drink in one sip. [One Sip Challenge Accepted]

In Robloxia, Bloxy Cola (real life counterpart: Coca Cola ) weighs 41 pounds and bolsters 6,977 calories. It would take 959 jumps just to burn it all and 8 minutes and 38 seconds. What's more surprising is it regenerates health (5 health points to be exact and it takes a Robloxian 3 seconds to drink in its entirely. ) In just a minute, the Robloxian will be able to regenerate to full health (assuming no regeneration scripts) at the cost of drinking 418,620 calories, which will take 57,550 jumps to burn and 8.635 hours. Just by the power of Bloxy Cola output alone, a Robloxian will consuming at the rate of 9.731 megawatts. (The healthiest drink is Bloxy Cola)

In Robloxia, Starblox latte (real life counterpart: Starbucks caffe latte) weighs 41 pounds and bolsters 7,158 calories. It would take 984 jumps just to burn it all and 8 minutes and 51.6 seconds. Starblox caffe latte actually makes the Robloxian walk 50% faster for 30 seconds, but if the Robloxian drinks 3 or more, there is a 50% chance for each Starblox caffe latte to make the Robloxian explode.

Conclusion

Robloxia with its Robloxians are truly overeating. There is no way a human can eat like a Robloxian if adhering to a 2,000 calorie diet.